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Couples Therapy – I Love You, But I’m Not In Love With You!

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Did your spouse ever tell you that?


OR is that how you think you feel towards them?

It’s a confusing statement for sure, that’s why I always address it in couple therapy.

The good thing about it is the “I Love You” means care

And care is necessary for a healthy happy marriage.

So what about the – Not “In Love”

The majority of us falsely pick up from love stories in tabloids, TV series, celebrity news and movies that once that happens that’s it.

We are taught that Love is something you find and then that’s it The END

That is just NOT TRUE!

Love is a ACTION, it’s not a feeling you get from another person, it’s an experience you receive as a result of taking loving acts for your spouse.

When people say to me they don’t feel love or “in love” in couple therapy I ask them what actions – have they taken to demonstrate their love for their spouse and often they can’t answer.

They often don’t feel “in Love” because they’re not doing anything… waiting for Love to come to motivate them and stuck in a trap.

You Make LOVE in the marriage, you build it through acts that show love

The trick is to give the LOVE and take the ACTIONs your spouse needs and wants.

The problem is we often go about satisfying our partners needs with what we want to receive and when we do that we DENY our partner what they most want.

It’s not rocket science or tricky to do this.

It’s so important that in couples therapy when Men and Women join to save their Marriage

it’s the core piece to kick start a marriage transformation

If you think about it, there is absolutely nothing in life that is worth having that does not require an effort to both achieve and then maintain.

Things in life either grow or they die

It’s the law of nature

Relationships are no different they have to grow or they also die.

They need to be nurtured, paid attention to, cared for, tended to.

So as I explain in couple therapy if you want to fall back “in love” or stay “in love”, it’s important to make acts of love part of your daily routine.

The more you do the better
as more “in love” you will experience and feel
and the more your lover is likely to reciprocate, especially if you meet their exact needs.

Everyone’s needs are different, it’s crucial to know what you and your spouse want:

whether it’s more excitement, variety, affection, attention, appreciation, fun it’s possible to create.

If you partner has said they are not “in love” with you


You’re scared you have fallen out of love or are falling out of love with your partner


ACT now – don’t wait for your spouse.

You can make a Huge Shift in your marriage

In fact there are plenty of women and men who my programs to save their marriage single-handedly and are successful. Individuals who wanted something better for themselves, their life and family… they didn’t want or need to drag their partner along to couple therapy if they weren’t enthusiastic instead they were able to bring about a transformation through their actions.

You can too! Start today and take action for your marriage!

Nicola Beer Relationship Transformation Specialist

I specializes in a proven 10 step program to help couples increase the love, passion and happiness in their marriage in 30 days or less… Guaranteed!

If you’re stuck wondering… Can My Marriage Be Saved? take the FREE Quiz

OR If your relationship is in serious trouble and you need help now – Book Your FREE Save My Marriage Consultation TODAY

Nicola Beer

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